Be Part of the Solution, Not a Part of the Problem

“Be part of the solution, not a part of the problem.”
— Stephen R. Covey

I came across this quote recently, and it got me thinking.

What does it mean to be part of the solution, not a part of the problem?

To me, it means being willing to stand out from the crowd — potentially greeted with adversity or judgement.

It means being courageous as you stand by your values, having faith in the changes they promise. For it takes strength to return over and over to that which feels true to you. 

Here’s why I’ve been reflecting on this lately:

From time to time, I’m hit with the realization that I am not meant to belong (try as I may). 

I have things about me that stand out, and that I have spent my life trying to repress and reshape. 

I’m one of those people who never felt like they truly fit in at school — idealistic, ambitious, drawn to complexity over simplicity, and adventure over security.

I have often longed to be ‘normal’ — to blend in with the crowd. Life would certainly be easier if I lived predictably, with no cause to stand out. 

Wouldn’t it?

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if any of us truly belong? Perhaps we just think that we do — or that we should.  

What does it mean to be a part of the problem?

Being a part of the problem looks like trying to change who you truly are in order to belong. 

This need to belong has shown up in many areas of my life — one of the most painful being my relationship with my body.

Since adolescence, when my adult body first began to take shape, I have denied it. I have stressed over my size and curves, longing for the straight, waifish figure of the models I saw in magazines. To look like them was to be acceptable. 

Our obsession with ‘skinny’ tells women to disappear. We must not take up too much space. 

I have always felt betrayed by my body for being ‘too big.’ As a result, I spent the better part of 15 years trying to shrink it. 

But I never could metamorphose it in the way I felt I needed. And there’s a reason for that: My body doesn’t need to change.    

See, by denying my (healthy, normal) body, I deny others who share the same shape. By trying to change it, I contribute to the problem — feeding the narrative that women must disappear.

We need more expanders — people who show us what’s possible by living freely as themselves. 

For me, being a part of the solution is to embrace my body as it is: a body that is perfectly feminine and strong, but that doesn’t fit in with media standards. I love seeing people who look like me; it reminds me that I am okay. I need to have the courage to be that person for others — the one who embraces who they are without apology.  

What does it mean to be a part of the solution?

To stand out is to be a change-maker in this world, for change-makers never fit in — they bend the rules and challenge the status quo. And that’s a good thing. 

Embrace who you are for your own peace of mind — but also for the liberation of others.

Embrace your body, your flaws, and your struggles.
Share your stories.
Be who you are — unapologetically, imperfectly, fully.
Take down the shield and let yourself be seen.

We are all tired of pretence, aren’t we? 

None of us are flawless, and no two people are the same. Wouldn’t it be a relief for us all to stop pretending that perfection exists and that life is a one-size-fits-all?

The more we give ourselves permission to be who we truly are, the more we permit others to do the same.