This too shall pass

On enjoying what you have now before it’s gone.

You may have heard the phrase ‘this too shall pass.’ A reminder of life’s impermanence, and the inevitability of change.

We often use this expression to remind ourselves that the bad times will pass; times of suffering and turmoil. To remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how overwhelming life feels in this moment. It’s a great reminder in those times. Nonetheless, it’s interesting to consider the impermanence of all that we experience – the good and the uncomfortable – because you just never know what you’ll miss once it’s gone …

This is something I’ve been reflecting on for myself recently. As I’ve thought about the past, and my life over the past 10 years, I’ve been thinking about what I liked, what I disliked, what I’m glad for, and what I’d do differently if I could. There is a lot I’d do differently … But the thing that stood out to me was the fact that everything turned out okay. Despite my anxieties and the need to control things and predict outcomes, everything was always okay. It made me realise: We spend so much time worrying about where we are at (the problems we have) and fretting about the future, that we overlook all the good things about where we are at right now.

And so, I asked myself this question:

If I had known then that everything would work out, that I’d reach the destination regardless, what would I do differently?

Here’s my answer:

I’d let go more, relax and let myself have WAY more fun.

I’d love the heck out of everything that I had whilst I had it: The friendships, the holidays, the flatmates, the experiences, even the lessons … Because I realise now that it was all impermanent. It’s gone now, and I can never have it back.

It may sound dramatic that I am having these realisations now, but I’d much rather have them in my 20’s than on my death bed – as is the experience of most.

Bonnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, wrote a book called The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying where she speaks of the common regrets shared amongst those facing their own mortality:

1. To have lived a life true to myself, and not the life others expected of me.
2. To have not worked so hard.
3. To have had the courage to express my feelings.
4. To have stayed in touch with my friends.
5. To have let myself be happier.

My realisations about all of this, the ‘this too shall pass’ has made me determined to approach my present life in a different way. I don’t want to die with regrets. I want to die knowing that I lived and loved fully, and appreciated every moment of my life as I lived it. And so, I’ve begun to ask myself now:

If I know for sure that 10 years from now, everything will have worked out for me, how would I approach life now?

My answer? In the same way that I wish I’d lived in the past. I would let go more, relax, have more fun and love the heck out of everything I have whilst I have it, knowing that it is impermanent. Because things could change tomorrow, or they could change in a couple of months time, and letting go of certain things scares me. Mortality IS frightening … But don’t hide from it. Embrace it and love what you have while it lasts.

‘I want to feel my life while I’m in it’

–Meryl Streep

You can read more about Bonnie Ware and The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying here.