Working With Resistance

There are days when you’re in flow, and there are days when everything feels like an effort. How can you approach days where you feel resistance?

There are days when you’re in flow, and there are days when everything feels like an effort. I refer to the latter as experiencing resistance. If you take this literally, it’s like you’re putting all your weight against a boulder that just won’t budge. Or, you’re trying to swim upstream, pushing against the current.

I can often feel resistance in my body. I feel tense, knotted in my chest, heavy in my legs and sometimes my belly.

Mentally, I feel drained and angsty and frustrated. Sometimes I feel depressed, and sometimes I want to hide.

Honestly, these are the days when you just feel heavy and crappy.

Days like these can be really tricky to navigate – especially when you have obligations or plans for that day. You can’t just go back to bed; you need to persevere with the days events to a certain degree.

So, how can you approach these days? How can you work with the resistance? (Because if you can’t go back to bed, you’ve got to work with it.)

It’s natural to try and push through the resistance; to persevere as if nothing is wrong. If you take the boulder metaphor, however, this will often cause you to feel worse. You’re going to want to back off to a certain degree. Swimming upstream never got anybody anywhere. You’ve got to find a way to go with the flow.

1. Don’t ignore how you’re feeling

If you’re feeling crappy, there’s a reason for it. You don’t necessarily need to dig deep into the reason, but something’s going on and it doesn’t help to deny it. Denying it is swimming upstream. Acknowledge that you are feeling off. Allow it to be what it is. Allow yourself to be what you are: Mess, frustrations, bad hair, bloating and all. 

Then:

2. Find out what you need

Ask yourself: What do I need right now? What do I need today?

A need is likely not being met – hence why you feel crappy. You may not know what you need, so just find the next best thing.

It can be really simple. Sometimes, all you need is to sit for 10 minutes with a coffee. Or, you just need a really good laugh.

Maybe you need a break? Maybe you just need company; to meet up with a friend or family member and have a good chat and a giggle. To feel connected.

Maybe you need a rest? Perhaps it’s possible for you to lighten your schedule for that day or take the day off entirely.

When I feel like this, I often need to bring some fun into my day, or something that evokes the senses. On days like this, I have found myself:

• grabbing coffee and sitting in the park
• bribing myself with shorter work intervals and more frequent breaks
• spontaneously driving up the coast to my favourite beach
• texting a friend and meeting them for lunch 
• taking myself on a date to the movies (with a cheeky glass of wine at the wine bar prior)
• lying on the bed listening to moody music
• watching stand-up comedy or a rom-com
• sharing a tub of Ben and Jerry’s with my partner

Whatever works. Whatever reinstalls (even if marginally) feelings of comfort, peace, joy, love and ease. Just find the next best thing, and navigate the day as best you can.

‘Do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better.’

– Maya Angelou